I so desperately want to learn to be cool, but I just don’t know if I’ll ever make it. Do you have any tips for being a hipster?
Nerdy in Nowra
Dear Nerdy in Nowra (if that is your real name),
Don’t you worry your pretty little head! Olympus has gone to the trouble of putting together an advertisement for its new OM-D camera that has all the tips on how to be a Grade-A Hipster. See below:
1. Wear suspenders, and remove them nonchalantly to affirm how hip you are. “Keeping my pants up? Why would I care for that?”
2. Work out a whole bunch. But don’t work out too much. Just enough to look effortlessly cool when shirtless.
3. Store your myriad suits in a system that can only be described as “Patrick Bateman in Monochrome”.
4. Sit on chairs in dimly-lit corridors, taking photos while showing off your latest socks. Shorts optional.
4. Hold your camera on an angle. No self-respecting semi-professional-photographer/barista/part-time-blogger takes photos held next to a set square. Angle = quirky. Straight = square.
5. Gesture to things with the gentle grace of a ballet dancer.
6. Always wear bowties. Always.
Failing this advice, see said advertisement below. Within no time, you'll be taking cool photographs of soba noodles and fixed gear bikes on your commute to Bondi.